Jewel Most Rare 3

And now it seems that I must find some reason to want to live.
But I have no cause to search- I’ve given all I have the guts to give.
Now I am lost and wandering- it seems that such must be.
I know not whether I shall ever find myself wandering free.
But as I walk, I ponder on all that has been done.
And as I ponder, I remember all the battles that have been lost and have been won.
And now again my fevered steps bring me back to where I’d once begun,
When I believed that I would make it, and to the light I’d always run,
When I knew I would do all it took to bravely to the end endure.
But now I face a challenge I never knew- I am no longer pure.
I wish to fall upon the ground, I wish to sit and cry,
For all that has been lost, it makes me want to die.
Some great eternal purpose I have failed to fulfill.
I have not given my all; I have not done my Father’s will.
But haven’t I tried, haven’t I done His will till now?
If I am to recover, I must ask: how?
Once more I lower my precious, sullied knapsack to the ground.
Thinking back on all that’s happened since my golden heart I found.
Feelings dulled, I reach inside and pull it forth-
My heart of gold, now dirtied, though it even now is full of worth.
I remember in my darkest moments when my life was saved,
On the mountain’s height, when to share my heart of hearts I braved.
Remembering the miles, leagues, and ages my precious light had traveled,
The millions who stood by me as my whole story unraveled.
Remembering, too, their love as they carried me back down,
The tears that fell from many eyes as they lowered me back upon the ground.
I know the task that lies before me, by the untold grace of God’s own Son.
Though no greater pain I’ve felt, what has been must be undone!
Angels guide my footsteps back to where it all began.
My blazing, white-hot fire awaits to purge the stains from one old man.
Taking one deep breath, I pause, thinking of every sin.
Then, calling upon weakened limbs to strive- I throw it in!
I grimace as my heart sears in the blazing fire, but then,
I am carried by this glowing thought- I will be clean again