Gurgley Glue

I went to my room in lavender blue
To sing a song to my Gurgley Glue.
It stuck to my back with a growl and a groan
It’s been with me these days wherever I roam.
I turned thirty-two just about yesterday,
My Glue is still on me in a not-so-great way.
I’ve tried to burn it off with lots of dry ice,
I tried to scare it off with a bunch of mice.
But though it’s been burned, scared, and ensnared,
My Glue is still on me, our secrets are shared.
I suppose I could stop and end my life there,
But with my Glue knowing, I do not dare.
I went to a party on Friday, March 1st
With Glue on my back, I feared the worst.
I went up and said Hi to a girl that was there;
With a scream and a laugh the Glue jumped in her hair.
She screamed and she yelled and she started to cry.
That’s when I decided the Glue had to die.
I didn’t know why and I didn’t know how,
But I did know when, and the time was now.
I rushed to my car where I kept a sharp chisel.
The young lady’s head was beginning to frizzle.
I opened the door and grabbed the tool and,
I ran back to the party with chisel in hand.
I knew she might think she was being attacked,
But I had no choice, so I jumped on her back.
With a blade in my hand and fire in my eye,
I pushed it in deep and I started to pry.
We ripped and we tugged and we pushed and we tore.
We didn’t think we could do anything more.
And just when we thought we would call it a day,
My Gurgley Glue started hopping away.
I sighed ‘cause I thought that my problems were dead
And that’s when I got a swift kick to the head.
When I awoke I was met by the stare
Of the girl with a huge mass of sticky blond hair.