The Cursed Bean

There was a man a long time ago, who was obsessed with beans.
This would be the gaseous kind, not those scummy greens.
Because of this the hungry man always let out gas,
And it all poured out in a smelly gaseous mass.

Needless to say, this poor man never had too many guests,
But he was lucky, because at least he got to rest.
And though he had not many friends, he still had a precious few.
They also shared his bean problem, and often had to go poo

Well one day the bean man and his friends saw a group of girls.
All of them were really hot and knocked their brains to the floor.
The bean dudes decided to stop their habit- and eat no more beans.
From this day on they decided to just eat bean greens.

The smelly beanie guys really took this goal to heart,
And after lots of time they had less and less bean farts.
And then they started to become friends with lots of girls.
Good thing they stopped their habit, cause the girls now didn’t hurl.

Well finally the bean man proposed to a pretty female.
She said yes, they got married, the man’s friends gave a hail.
It’s a good thing he learned to stop eating all those beans.
If he hadn’t he’d have a problem, and his wife would scream.

They had a good long marriage, and had themselves some fun.
They really got along pretty well, when all was said and done.
One day the cured man’s wife threw a surprise party for him.
He was completely clueless, which made him afterwards feel dim.

He was on his way home from work, his normal daily routine.
He couldn’t help but stare at “Restaurant Exquisite Beans”.
He found himself automatically taking a detour.
He quickly parked and found himself at the door.

He went right in and spent $50 on many beans.
And ate them all- 4,000 spicy, gaseous fiends.
When he was done, he groaned, burped, and gave a mighty fart.
By chance he had a lighter, and lit a yard long blue dart.

The workers at the restaurant quickly kicked him out.
On his way home, he had gas, and took the longer route.
When he got into his home driveway, his truck really smelled.
But the Bean Man simply aired it out and said, “Oh well”.

He walked into the house, and his wife blindfolded him.
She led him to the dining room, the lights were really dim.
She sat him down and then walked out, to bring in a cake.
He tried to look like he was fine, though of course it was a fake.

He listened till he was certain that his wife was gone,
Then he stood, lifted his leg, and let out one that was long.
He took a couple strides and hops, let out a couple more,
Then he laid some S.B.D.’s, while rolling on the floor.

He sat back down quickly, before his wife came in.
She put the big cake down, and finally unblinded him.
And that is when he astonishingly gaped around in horror.
15 guests he hadn’t heard were gassed out on the floor.