A Broken Heart

‘Yes,’ she says to me.
‘You have done great things.
You have endured trials, troubles,
And tribulations too.
You have also made many mistakes,
Though you have tried to rectify them
As best you could.
After it is all said and done,
What do you want now,
At the end of it all?’
‘I just want it over,’
I say as the tears spill
Down my cheeks.
‘Please, can’t it be over?’
‘It is not for me to say.
It is for God to decide
When to take you Home.
You will have to wait upon Him.’
‘I have been waiting for so long already.
My heart is breaking. I feel that I cannot
Bear this much longer before I break altogether.’
‘Perhaps that is what He is waiting for:
A broken heart and a contrite spirit.’
‘It is always ‘perhaps,’ isn’t it?
I never seem to know for sure.
I need to know how much longer
I must stay here.’
‘And what will you do once you know?’
‘If it is very soon, I shall cry in relief.
If it is not, I shall crumble in despair.
Nothing else seems to matter anymore.’
‘You must not give up hope, Adam!
Have there not been many signs
That your time is soon?
Have there not been many signs
Telling you that you don’t need to worry?’
‘My faith, perhaps, is not what it needs to be.
I have stumbled greatly. Now I doubt myself.’
‘Trust in God,’ she says to me. ‘He will make
Up the difference where you lack.’
‘I am trying to do so,’ I reply.
‘We are waiting for you when you are done.
Just keep trying for a little longer, and then
We shall be there to get you Home.’
‘Home,’ I sigh. ‘It is nearly impossible to wait.’